Do not punish the behaviour you want to see

By prettyarbitrary January 29, 2018 #also good for beong aware of what sets you off in others, #great info, #psychology

olofahere:

I mean, it seems pretty obvious when you put it like that, right?

But how many families, when an introvert sibling or child makes an effort to socialize, snarkily say, “So, you’ve decided to join us”?

Or when someone does something they’ve had trouble doing, say, “Why can’t you do that all the time?” (Happened to me, too often.)

Or any sentence containing the word “finally”.

If someone makes a step, a small step, in a direction you want to encourage, encourage it. Don’t complain about how it’s not enough. Don’t bring up previous stuff. Encourage it.

Because I swear to fucking god there is nothing more soul-killing, more motivation-crushing, than struggling to succeed and finding out that success and failure are both punished.

this is the main thing that stops me from progressing in life. anything i do in the house, or even going outside, is a snark remark. it makes all my hard work leading to that moment all for nothing. it’s so defeating.