Grief has been a big part of my life for the past five years. First Mom, then my grandmother, then Dad… It’s been, well. Sucky. But also educational.
One of the things I’ve learned is how soft life normally is. I mean, not easy, necessarily. But like, there’s not much you can’t survive, or work around, or compromise on, or learn to accept and adapt as part of you–in a big picture sense. But grief? Grief is absolute.
There’s some gushy philosophical saying about how the human mind can’t comprehend infinity, but that’s not true. Grief is a hole, right. It’s the ache of an empty place where something should be. And it’s the weirdest, most…I dunno, transcendent thing I’ve ever felt.
You push against it, try to find some way to lessen or negotiate or cope with it…but there are no options. You’re the only thing in this equation that can yield. There was a person, or a thing or a place that was so important to you. And now it’s gone. It heals some after a while, stops hurting as much or at least not as often. You find ways to fill in parts of it. But the absence is always there, and every time you look into it, you’re looking right into forever.
It does pretty strange things to your perspective, I’ll tell you that much.
from Tumblr http://ift.tt/21pukSv