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Interviewer: You had a bit of a bromance going on there.
Jude Law: What is this new term everyone’s using? It’s a horrible term. What about just a romance?
Interviewer: No, it’s not the same. Because then you’d have to star in a romantic comedy together or something.
Jude Law: We just have. Have you not seen it?
Alright, Mr. Law. You win. I surrender. I tried to be a responsible slasher about this and keep in mind that my read on the text was subversive and not actually what the creators really meant to communicate, BUT APPARENTLY Ritchie’s Holmes and Watson ACTUALLY ARE in a gay relationship, and Holmes is just pissed off and jealous about having to share his Watson, and Mary is quietly, exasperatedly amused because she knows everything and is wondering how long it’ll take Holmes to stop being an emotional infant and admit he’s not actually LOSING anybody.
When the actors and director are all this keenly aware of what their subtext is saying, it may be time to suck it up and admit that maybe it’s not queerbaiting. Maybe it’s just a decorous lack of makeout scenes.