I mean come on, you’re bisexual and you’re living with a same-sex flatmate who is so gorgeous that you sometimes forget to breathe and you realize you’ve fallen in love with them. BUT you think they can never love you back because they said themselves that they’re sociopathic and you’ve seen proof of that over and over. So you try dating the opposite sex because you really need to at least TRY, and you avoid dating same-sex because you don’t want to scare your flatmate off (you’ve hit on them the second night you’ve met and you’ve been rejected and it’s awkward). But you can’t really make it work with all those dates because you constantly think about your flatmate, because you’re always there when they call and because they are so fucking gorgeous and brilliant that you just can’t stop.

But everyone around you is assuming that you’re a couple and it’s driving you up the wall because YOU FUCKING WISH YOU WERE, thank you very much. So of course you say it on and on and on ‘we’re not a couple, we’re not together, i’m not their date’ just can’t stand it. And when someone is particularly insistent you just say ‘I’M NOT GAY’ because that’s true, you’re bisexual, but that is NOT their business. see? I can date all these people, I can get married to someone else, see, my flatmate is not my entire world.

So you just say that you’re not gay, because that is technically true. But you’re always careful NOT to say it in your flatmate presence. Because, what if?

It just sounds so plausible.  *lies down on floor*

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