iwantthatcoat:

Apparently, a new wave of people are indignant about the “Mary Hate” and misogyny again.
See this. Mary did this.
(Not Amanda Abbington…ok? I’m not an idiot)
But… Mary did this.
I believe Sherlock has a plan in mind, a goal, a reason to claim “surgery” and to spin a tale about a phone call that may never have occurred… (keep your friends close and your enemies closer).
John is, as he says, doing things Sherlock’s way.
Don’t tell me it was her only option.
Don’t make excuses for the poor, pregnant woman (*that’s* misogynistic).
Look at this picture again and tell me how nice she is, how sweet, how kind, how perfect for John. Tell me about your OT3.
I love this man. I am Mummy Holmes. Except… I do know who shot my boy. I have every right to be monstrous.

NO.  STOP IT.

I have had enough of this.  I wasn’t going to say anything about the latest blow-up, but this?  THIS IS SHAMING.

STOP IT.

You do NOT have a right to be monstrous.  BECAUSE THIS IS A FUCKING TELEVISION SHOW and the people you are being monstrous to are REAL PEOPLE.

STOP setting up straw-man arguments and assumptions about what you think they must be thinking if they like the character.  You do NOT know, because there are a hundred different reasons that might have brought them to holding the opinion they do.

STOP canonizing your headcanon and assuming that because it makes sense to you, it must be what the show is aiming for.  You do NOT know, none of us do, because the show has historically been really great at thwarting all assumptions and expectations about what next season will bring.  (Whether what it came up with instead was better or not is a whole different discussion.)

And most of all, STOP assuming that because somebody likes—or hates!—a particular character, that it says ANYTHING about what they really want or would condone in real life.

STOP mocking and shaming and telling people that they are morally bankrupt because they happen to see something different from you, or think something different from you, or perhaps have been exposed to different information than you.

I don’t care whether you love Mary, or hate Mary, or are wildly indifferent to Mary.  I don’t care whether you think the show is better or worse for her presence on it.  STOP ATTACKING OTHER PEOPLE, BULLYING AND SILENCING OTHER PEOPLE AND MAKING THEM MISERABLE BECAUSE THEY DISAGREE WITH YOU.

I grasp that people who are doing this may not even have been aware that this is what they’ve been doing.  Some people have simply decided on their own stance and don’t want to hear about anything that disagrees with them.  

In which case you do not have the right to shout down others just because you don’t like what they’re saying.  You have resources to filter and control what you see on Tumblr.  USE THEM.

Other people have gotten entrenched in these moral positions: Mary = evil murderer whom no one should ever love; Mary = John’s feminine savior whom only a misogynist could hate. They are trying to fight for the soul and moral rectitude of fandom, based on opinions over this one character.  

But taking those positions in the first place is pointless.  She’s a character.  Whether you like her or hate her is a matter of personal preference, not a symbol of the state of your immortal soul.  And while discussions can and should be had on whether those preferences and interpretations are perhaps tied up in mores and expectations of a misogynist culture, shouting people down whenever they start talking about the character is antithetical to productive dialogue.  It’s silencing, and attempting to attack and shame people into either agreeing with your moral stance or shutting up about it is not only simply wrong, but also tactics worthy of the seediest lowlifes in politics and religion.

So if you feel like screaming at or mocking people for disagreeing with you about Mary, take a good hard look at yourself and then STOP.

I’ve said it before: it’s fine if you hate Mary.  It’s fine if you love Mary.  IT IS NOT FINE TO HURT OTHER PEOPLE FOR DISAGREEING WITH YOU ABOUT MARY.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *