traumachu:

“Oh jeez… I look like this guy?” Lester asked. “Yes,” Jim repeated. This man was either good at pretending to be slow, or dumber than he originally thought. “You do.” Lester picked up Mary’s photo. “Well… And he’s married to her? Lucky.” Lester laughed. “She’s darn pretty! Prettier than mine was.” He set the photo down, and Jim chuckled. “Oh, she’s not the only one. This is my real target.” Jim gave Lester the photo of Sherlock Holmes- tall and pale and so fuckable.

Jim saw Lester’s face light up. “Whoa,” Lester said, “This is that guy! That man on the news! He’s…Wow, he really is that nice looking… Not that I’m, you know, or anything.” Jim rolled his eyes. “Oh please, anyone would drop to their knees for him, believe me. I know John would.” Lester looked confused. “But isn’t he married?” Lester asked. “Yes,” Jim said. “That’s why I want to know… can you do accents? Because if you can, I’d like you… to ruin… this happy little trio for me.”

Jim watched Lester look from one picture to the next. He saw the man’s tongue flick out over his lips. So much like Watson- it was laughable how alike they were! But then the American asked, “What’s in it for me?” Jim sighed. “Oh, well, immunity. Full, and complete immunity from your crimes. I’ll even help you set up a new life, far far from ‘North Dakota’,” Jim over-emphasized the ludicrous accent Nygaard used, “And on top of it, sex with Watson’s wife and his best friend.”

Lester’s indigo eyes flicked down. Then back up at Jim. Slowly his thin little lips parted in to a wide grin. Jim returned the smile. “When do we start?” Lester asked, so eager. Jim approved. Jim approved so very, very much. -End.

I think the first one got lost but it doesn’t matter THIS IS AMAZING AND I REALLY WANT THIS FIC

That’s genius.

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