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NO YOU AREN’T. I MAY HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS OFTEN ENOUGH TO HAVE PLAYED AT THE PERFUME COUNTER AT MACY’S A COUPLE OF TIMES.
Oh man, I actually found the perfect cologne for Sherlock. I think it was Armani Code Ultimate. There was vanilla, and cedar, and I’m pretty sure I remember some kind of citrus, and some kind of spicy ripe scent.
In my head, by default Sherlock smells like bergamot, and probably leather. Have you ever smelled good leather or old wood that’s been polished with orange or grapefruit oil? Yeah. I bet he smells like that most of the time, with a cross-scent of chemicals or some kind of hand soap, depending on what he’s been working with recently.
But I can imagine an aromatic woody smell about him too, or a rich low scent of vanilla around him when he’s deliberately classing himself up.
John, now. I imagine John wearing something like English Leather or Burberry Brit. I bet he goes in for a kind of classic rugged-man thing. But you know what? It doesn’t really suit him. He walks around with this cologne on and people are like, “Ummm…” and they want to suggest something better for him but it’s hard to figure out how to do that politely.
What he should be wearing is something warm and spicy. John’s got a grounded, earthy nature to him that could really support scents that’d be too overdramatic on most people. Cinnamon, pepper, anise, ginger, frankincense. I have a little bottle of kyphi that would be so damn hot on him.
OR, though, I bet John could pull off the more voluptuous fruity and rich floral scents startlingly well. Vanilla’s kind of…eh, no. But, like, mango, heliotrope, clover…something rich and edible would suit him. Orange blossom and peach, anchored with something darker. Yeah.
Lestrade, now, he can pull off all the classic male scents: mint, pine, rosemary, leather, the fragrant woods (not all at once obviously). Slap some Drakkar Noir or Eau Sauvage on him, and even though those scents have been around long enough that some would find them dated, he’d remind people they’re classic. Ungh, can you imagine that lovely silver-stubbled jawline with Dolce & Gabbana’s The One drifting lickably around him?
Mycroft would undoubtedly wear something so expensively, understatedly sophisticated it’d make you want to beat your brains out against the wall. Like Lestrade, he could probably wear almost anything, but you can bet Mycroft would go for the sort of thing you don’t really notice unless you pay attention, but that just makes you instinctively defer to his obviously innate wealth, power, and class. Smooth, well-balanced, subtle, non-invasive. Something lighter, I think. He probably finds the bolder spicy, woodsy scents too flashy.
Although once in a while, when he wants to browbeat the point, he’ll go for something that smells like a very old, very well-kept manor house—old wood, leather, faint notes of tobacco and citrus, and a light rolling breeze coming in off the lawn.
As for the women, I think Molly probably likes simple sorts of perfumes. I can see her going for things like rose, jasmine, or lily of the valley.
Mrs. Hudson is almost certainly a perfume wearer. I bet she’s got good taste, but she’s a product of her time. I have this intuition that things tend to smell a bit powdery on her. She’d probably like it if a younger friend took her shopping for a new scent and got her to try out some of the more modern ones to find something she’d like.
Mary, I’m not sure about. I could see her going for something like Bvlgari Jasmine Noir, kind of jasmine and mysterious spicy woods. I would almost say I could imagine her wearing Obsession, but I think it would make her smell like a very expensive grandmother. Maybe something similar but more updated, though.